


Devil's Advocate

by Fictionstv



Category: Lucifer (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Devil's Advocate (1997)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionstv/pseuds/Fictionstv
Summary: Hot-shot lawyer, Kara Danvers, is offered a job by Lucifer to represent A-list clients but will she be able to stand the heat?
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kara Danvers, Kara Danvers/Mon-El
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: SG characters are portrayed consistently with that of Adventures of Supergirl, exaggerated caricatures of themselves.

* * *

**Devil's Advocate**

* * *

"Go on, Damien," the prosecutor encouraged. "Tell us exactly what happened."

Damien was on the stand as a key witness in a child abuse trial against Bruce Wayne. Kara Danvers and Bruce Wayne sat together at the defendant's table. A jury of Bruce's so-called peers made up of 12 billionaires listened intently to the testimony presented.

"He would call me names, beat me, and one day he shoved a red-hot poker, shaped like a bat, up my ass," Damien recalled. "He said it was training so it was okay. I asked him to stop but it was like he couldn't hear me. Then, I screamed and he said we would have to do it again sometime," Damien continued

"Did he try again?" the prosecutor asked.

"Not with me," Damien said.

"But with the others, Dick, Barbara, Jason, Tim, and even Kate, isn't that right?" the prosecutor lead on.

"Yes," Damien said softly.

"And after you told them what had happened to you, they told you what **he** had done to them!" the prosector raged.

"Holy shit, dude," Kara eyed Bruce aghast.

"Isn't that true?" the prosecutor asked.

"Yes," Damien said wiping away a tear.

"Nothing further," the prosecutor said throwing his eyeglasses on the table disdainfully. The crowd murmured in the background.

"Your witness, Miss Danvers," the judge said to her.

Kara sighed and got up. "Have you had any discipline issues with your father?"

"No," Damien lied.

"Isn't it true that you're a little bitch? Isn't that why your father has asked you to train with him?" Kara asked knowingly.

"No," Damien lied.

"Have other martial arts masters asked you to train with them?" Kara asked.

"Once or twice," Damien allowed.

"Isn't it true you've made drawings of your father in an unflattering light? Did you ever call your father a disgusting bat monster?" Kara asked.

"No," Damien lied.

"I mark this picture as exhibit A," Kara said handing it to the judge. It was a hand-drawn picture of Bruce as a bat monster. "This is your handwriting, isn't it?" she asked Damien.

"It's a joke," Damien said defensively.

"He's a huge bat monster. He probably eats a thousand pancakes for breakfast," Kara showed the drawing and quote to the jury.

"It was meant to be a joke," Damien said frustrated.

"Damien, this is not a joke. A man's reputation, his life is at stake! You threaten the others, didn't you?" Kara accused.

"No," Damien denied.

"You told them to lie, to falsely claim that Mr. Wayne kicked their asses," Kara continued.

"These things did happen," Damien said tearfully.

"So, you made up a story. A special story about a father that was tough on you and kept you up late. A huge bat monster you didn't like! That's what really happened, isn't it!" Kara accused.

"No, I didn't want to be the only one," Damien sobbed.

The court was in an uproar as Kara secured victory with this unimpressed jury.

Kara sat down at her table and gave Bruce a handshake. Mon then leaned over to her. "Let's go get drunk as fuck tonight," he suggested.

* * *

Kara and Mon made their way to the alien gay bar and sat down for some shots. "To the best damn lawyer in Gotham," Mon clinked shots with her.

"You give me far too little credit," Kara said, delighted by her victory.

Nia came in with a self-righteous look on her face. "How does it feel to get someone like Bruce Wayne off the hook for all that he's done to his wards and partners?" she asked disdainfully.

"Come on, Nia, let it go. The case is over," Mon rolled his eyes.

"It actually felt pretty good," Kara said downing a shot.

Kara and Mon proceeded to have quite a few more shots as the night dragged on. As the band played, Kara was all over Mon grinding into him and acting like a freak. Hank then went over to Kara as she took a break from the dancing.

"Hell of a job, Kara," Hank complimented. "I didn't want to disturb your party."

"You going to sue me, Hank?" Kara asked dangerously.

"Not this time. We were hoping to retain your services," Hank said. "We've been following your progress."

"Alright, alright, I'll meet you at your car in five but you need to transform into a woman or else it's cheating with Mon," Kara said to him.

"Not those services," Hank clarified. "You've never lost a case."

"I've had some dumb-as-fuck juries," Kara downplayed.

"That's what we're hoping for. We want you to pick a jury," Hank said seriously.

Kara started laughing. "That's pretty good, you being black. Whose idea was that?" Kara asked.

"Actually...," Hank said almost offended.

"I don't think I'm quite drunk enough for this kind of talk. I'll buy you a drink. Maybe Mon, you, and I can get a room together. What do you say?" Kara asked.

"You start next week. All expenses paid, you and your boy-toy. A lump-sum payment regardless of the verdict," Hank said.

Hank handed Kara the check with a lot of zeroes behind it. "You're for real," she realized wide-eyed.

"No shit," Hank replied.

* * *

In a Metropolis courtroom, Kara watched bored as a jury was selected by the lead defense attorney on a criminal homicide domestic terrorism case that had gripped the nation. "Alright, Mr. Valvetine, do you think you could put aside any prior opinion you might hold on clowns?"

"He fucking did it!" the prospective juror blurted out.

Hank motioned for the lead lawyer to come to the table. "Your honor, if I may consult with my colleagues for a few minutes," the lead lawyer requested.

"You may," the judge said bored.

"What the fuck do you two want now?" the lead lawyer asked exasperated.

"Dump him," Kara advised.

"No shit," the lead lawyer said unimpressed.

"While you're at it, dump juror 4 and 6," Kara added.

"Juror 6? You've got be fucking with me. She's a defense attorney's wet dream, a Catholic school teacher that believes in redemption, forgiveness, and all that other crap," the lead lawyer doubted.

"You see the look on her face? Some clown hurt her and she wants revenge," Kara said looking at her.

"And juror 4? I mean, come on, he's black," the lead lawyer said offensively.

"Exactly. Your defendant is white with green hair. You put him on your jury, you're fucked," Kara said obviously.

"Look, kid, maybe down in that shithole called Gotham you're the next big thing. This is Metropolis, the big leagues," the lead lawyer said to her.

"I don't give a shit if you take my advice, alright. I get paid all the same," Kara said dismissively.

"Do what she says," Hank ordered him.

"Fuck it," the lead lawyer agreed.

* * *

Kara came back to the hotel finding Mon in only his underwear watching TV, drinking a beer, and eating pizza. "Your adopted mother called. She says she's got a baaaad feeling," Mon mocked.

"Every now and then she gets one right," Kara said darkly as she looked out the window.

"You okay?" Mon asked slightly concerned.

"They deliberated for 38 minutes," Kara said subdued.

"Kara, that man is guilty as sin. He killed a dozen cops, a police commissioner, a judge, the assistant district attorney, and blew half of Harvey Dent's face off. What did they expect of you? No jury was going to let him off," Mon said sympathetically.

"My jury did," Kara smiled changing her demeanor.

"Nice," Mon smiled.

"I'm too good!" Kara crowed.

Mon picked up a celebratory Kara in his arms. "I'm going to knock you up," he promised.

"You better," Kara said as he took her to the bedroom.

* * *

The next day, Kara walked a little funny as she entered the Star law firm. "Sorry to keep you waiting but Mr. Star was caught up with some business in Indonesia longer than expected," Hank said to her.

"Indonesia, huh? That sounds like bullshit," Kara doubted.

Kara glanced out the windows seeing the spectacular view of Metropolis and Gotham across the bay. "You like the view?" Hank asked.

"It's alright," Kara allowed.

"This is our home office but Mr. Star spends a great deal of his time in the air. We represent clients in twenty-five different countries," Hank said as they toured around the office.

"I'm so happy for you, Hank. This is so much better than your shitty PI office," Kara complimented.

"It really is. I'll be right with you," Hank said as he went off to deal with some legal nonsense.

Kara ditched him and entered an empty circular room that didn't seem to serve a purpose. "Behind you," a male voice said from behind.

"Holy shit," Kara said startled and turned around.

"Didn't mean to scare you...or did I?" Mr. Star smiled amused.

"Not at all. Kara Danvers," Kara introduced herself.

"Lucifer Morning Star," he replied and then eyed Kara as if studying her. "So, have I been treating you well?"

"You could do better," Kara said arrogantly.

"Your boyfriend, having a good time?" Lucifer asked knowingly.

"No idea. Don't really give a fuck," Kara said honestly.

Lucifer gestured for her to take a seat across from his desk. "That's my secret. Kill you with kindness. What's your secret?"

"I'm Kryptonian," Kara said bluntly.

"No shit," Lucifer said intrigued.

"I can hear the heartbeats of a witness. It tells me if they're lying or not. I got it down to a science," Kara said proudly. "Just don't tell the New York Bar Association."

"Oh, my lips are sealed, Miss Danvers," Lucifer assured her with a smile. "You were a reporter," he brought up.

"Five years at Catco magazine," Kara nodded.

"Between you and me, I'm a big fan of Cat Grant. So, what's it like being a reporter one day, a defense attorney the next?" Lucifer asked.

"Super-easy, barely an inconvenience," Kara replied.

"Pay is better, isn't it?" Lucifer asked.

"It sure does," Kara smiled.

Lucifer got up to walk around. "The Wayne case, I heard you were brilliant."

"You heard correctly," Kara confirmed.

"You don't really want to go back to Gotham, do you?" Lucifer asked leaning on his desk in front of her.

Kara said nothing to that waiting for an offer. "Walk with me, please," Lucifer said to her and opened a door revealing a pool area exposed to the air at the top of the skyscraper. The two casually walked out into the open air.

"What do you think?" Lucifer asked her. "Some people can't handle it."

"Please, I can fly," Kara said dismissively.

"That's right," Lucifer recalled. "So, your father, what does he do?"

"Well, he's a mercenary assassin brainwashed by Cadmus but takes time out of his busy schedule to help refugees in Peru," Kara said.

"Ever visit you?" Lucifer asked.

"Not in the cards," Kara frowned. "My adopted mother raised me."

"She never remarried?" Lucifer asked.

"She wasn't married, to begin with," Kara smirked.

"Well, that can't be easy in Midvale," Lucifer assumed.

"I don't think it's easy raising a Kryptonian anywhere," Kara said knowingly.

"Your mother, what's she like?" Lucifer continued.

"She's a preacher's daughter. She's tough. She's worked at the same lab for as long as I can remember. She's got a church she really likes, so she's either there or the lab. She does a lot of volunteer work," Kara said.

"Oh, really? Behold, I send you as sheep amidst the wolves," Lucifer smiled.

"I'm no sheep," Kara said dangerously.

"The book didn't rub off on you? The church?" Lucifer asked.

"I absorbed it like a sponge," Kara corrected.

"So, are you the judgemental type that never lets anyone have fun?" Lucifer asked.

"I don't judge people. I just send them to God's courtroom," Kara said brightly.

"Right," Lucifer said not sure what to make of her. "A lot of potential clients out there," he said looking over the skyscrapers and streets of Metropolis.

"We negotiating?" Kara asked.

"Always," Lucifer smiled.

"Let me ask you this. Why do you need a criminal department?" Kara asked curiously

"Our clients fuck up and break the law just like anyone else. I believe you report on it, daily. I'm just sick and tired of sending their business across the street," Lucifer said reasonably.

"You offering me a job?" Kara asked impatiently.

"I'm thinking about it," Lucifer admitted.

"What do you want me to do? Sleep with you, suck your dick?" Kara assumed.

"I know you've got talent but can you deal with the overwhelming pressure?" Lucifer asked.

"I will literally make everyone I care about secondary to this job," Kara promised.

"Well, then. Happy to have you on the team," Lucifer said pleased.

"Let's talk about money," Kara smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

Shortly thereafter, Hank, Kara, and Mon strolled down the streets of Metropolis towards their new housing arrangement. "You got the park across the street, the reservoir, best jogging in Metropolis, Metropolis General down the street, and excellent schools," Hank listed off.

"Too bad I never go to the park, jog, need a hospital, or have kids," Kara said snidely.

"It's a lot better than the shitty apartment you've had for fifteen years," Hank told her off.

"Well, when you're right, you're right," Kara allowed as she looked up at the building.

"Mr. Star has the top floor, of course," Hank pointed out.

"We live in the same building? That's going to make it all the more fun to prank call him," Kara grinned.

"We must sack Mr. Star's apartment for our own," Mon said ambitiously.

"In good time," Kara said condescendingly.

The three went inside and met with M'gann in human form. "Welcome, Kara. We live across the hall."

"Nice, so I'll be close enough to hear Hank's Martian chanting," Kara rolled her eyes.

"There are only two apartments on this floor?" Mon wondered as he used his X-ray vision.

"You didn't tell them about the apartment?" M'gann asked Hank aghast.

"I figured they could explore it themselves," Hank excused

"Everything is painted white, I see," Kara said unimpressed. "Mon, make yourself useful and start painting these rooms."

"It shall be blood-red," Mon declared.

M'gann laughed not taking him seriously. "I have to warn you though. There are going to be some envious people down at the firm," Hank said.

"If only I gave a shit," Kara said dismissively.

"These apartments are more of a firm perk. You must have made quite the impression on Mr. Star," Hank assumed.

"I didn't suck his dick," Kara said defensively.

"It took me six years to get me into one of these," M'gann remarked.

"You sound poor," Kara nodded.

Mon looked out the window eying the park and seeing the ease upon which he could snipe random joggers with heat vision. Kara came up to him. "I want you to know that I'm keeping this job and this apartment no matter what so don't bitch out on me."

"Are you shitting me? I'm going to get me the best gaming system money can buy over here and then a luxurious bed in this room so I can make sweet love to you every night," Mon smiled.

"I love you, Mon," Kara said giving him a kiss.

"I know," he replied back.

* * *

Kara came by the firm and was introduced to the entire team. Hank then escorted Kara to her new office. "So, what do you think?" he asked her as she looked around.

"It'll do but I'm changing all the furniture to mahogany. I just love mahogany," Kara said.

"Until something better comes along," Cat Grant said snidely as she entered the room.

"Cat, what the hell are you doing here?" Kara asked, delighted to see her.

"I work as the head of media relations here," Cat said. "By the way, here's your first case: the Black case," she said handing over a folder.

"The Black case?" Kara wondered.

Cat and Kara sat down to watch a police cam video of them storming a basement and finding Manchester Black slitting the throat of a goat in an obvious voodoo ceremony spilling blood all over the floor. Black and the police got into a tussle until he was finally subdued. "Fuck the police!" Black shouted over-and-over.

Cat put the video on pause. "Holy shit, can we watch that again?" Kara asked enthralled.

"What do you think?" Cat asked.

"Is Mr. Star punking me? It's a health code case and a loser. He's trying to see if I'll plead out. It's a test, right?" Kara assumed.

"No shit," Cat agreed.

"Cat, when did we go wrong where a man can't exercise his first amendment right of freedom of religion to sacrifice a goat to voodoo spirits in the privacy of his own home?" Kara asked rhetorically as she looked out the window.

* * *

The next day, Kara ventured into the hood and arrived at Manchester Black's residence. Kara encountered Fiona at the entrance. "Good afternoon, I'm looking for Manchester Black," Kara said pleasantly.

"He'd be down there," she pointed out the stairs.

"Nothing nefarious or creepy about this," Kara said as she walked down the stairs to Black's creepy basement. The basement was lit by hundreds of candles. "Fire hazard much," Kara muttered as she continued to walk around.

"Miss, I thought I would recognize you," Black said, sitting on the floor in meditation.

"Holy shit," Kara said startled.

"But I do not," Black shook his head.

"That's a shame. I'm kind of a big deal," Kara said disappointedly. "I'm here to keep your Black ass from going to jail."

"I do not fear the white man's cage. I've got currency...in blood," Black said with a crazed expression on his face.

"Look, I'm going to need your help with this. Help me to help you," Kara said dramatically.

"Who is the man that will be prosecuting us?" Black asked as he opened his fridge.

"Schott, assistant district attorney Winslow Schott Jr.," Kara told him.

Black put a cow tongue on a table and unwrapped it. "Mr. Black...what the fuck are you doing?" Kara asked incredulously.

"With this tongue, we create silence. You can go now. You'll have all the help I can give you," Black said to her as he started putting nails in the tongue.

"Well, okay then," Kara said freaked out by him. "I've assessed the situation and I'm going to leave."

* * *

Mon went ahead and painted the walls blood-red like he intended to do. "Blood-red, what do you think?" he asked Hank.

"I like it. Fuck yeah," Hank encouraged him.

Mon proceeded to paint the whole apartment in the color. Meanwhile, Kara was at the firm. "Here's all of it," a clerk said putting more legal books in front of her.

"I only need one document and that's the God damn US Constitution!" Kara said to her clerk.

Kara went home early as usual and found Hank and Mon playing video games in the living room. She looked over the painted walls. "God damn," she realized he wasn't kidding.

Kara then had a drink with M'gann in the other living room away from the boys. "When I'm at the firm, I feel like I'm just drifting, floating in space."

"You'll settle in," M'gann assured her.

"Before, my apartment was so small that Mon and I would constantly fight over everything. Now, he has his side. I have my side. It's really nice. At night, when I go to sleep, he unexpectedly pounces on me and has his way with me," Kara said.

"If I want to see Hank, I have to make an appointment," M'gann said bitterly.

"No shit?" Kara wondered.

"Yeah, he's an asshole," M'gann nodded.

"How do you deal with it?" Kara asked.

"Look around you. Look, for Martian females we have three choices: We can work, play, or breed," M'gann said thoughtfully. "Also, Hank has perfected fifth base."

"Fifth base?" Kara wondered intrigued.

"He phases his entire fist inside me and does whatever he wants," M'gann smiled.

"Damn," Kara said amazed.

* * *

The next morning, Kara dramatically slammed down a piece of veal on the table. "That's veal roast, your honor, USDA approved and stamped. Men kill animals and eat their flesh. Mr. Black killed a goat. He killed a goat and he did it at home in a manner consistent with his weird-ass voodoo beliefs. Now, Mr. Schott might find that bizarre. It's certainly not a religious practice performed by everyone, certainly not me. Not as common as say, circumcision or kosher," Kara said.

"You can stop pandering to my faith now," the obviously Jewish judge said to her.

"The Constitution protects Mr. Black's freedom of religion. This case isn't about a goat. It's about what our Founding Fathers would have wanted. While Mr. Black was observing a religious ritual, police stormed his house, beat his ass, and dragged his ass onto the streets where they proceeded to beat his ass again. To me, that's fascism. Mr. Black is a British citizen, a guest in our country. We should show him every American hospitality and that includes letting him sacrifice goats to voodoo spirits in a creepy basement," Kara argued passionately.

"What say you, Mr. Schott?" the judge asked.

Winn began coughing non-stop unable to speak. The judge and Kara gave him an odd look as he continued to cough. "Get ahold of yourself, man," the judge scolded him.

Winn continued to cough unable to make an argument. "I request a verdict of dismissal, your honor," Kara said.

"Yeah, sure, fuck it," the judge agreed.

Kara then shook Black's hand and walked out only to be stopped by none other than Alex Danvers. "You think you can use Voodoo magic to keep Winn's mouth shut and win health code cases?" she asked scornfully.

"Yeah," Kara said nonchalantly.

"Well, think again. Next time you're in court, you're facing off against me. And unlike Winn, I won't have a dick in my throat," Alex told her.

"Fingers crossed," Kara said not intimidated.

* * *

Kara met up with Lucifer down the streets of Metropolis. "Outstanding, a guy like Black lives in a subterranean shithole but actually has fifteen million in his bank account," Lucifer said to her.

"Nothing surprises me in this city," Kara replied. "So, did you come down here to make sure I didn't fuck it up?"

"Of course, don't get too cocky. Never let them see you coming, keep yourself small, and then take them from behind when they least expect it," he advised. "Look at me, underestimated from day one. You would never think I was master of the universe, now would you?"

"Well, I'm the most powerful being in the universe and I look like a blond ditz," Kara pointed out.

"That's your only weakness as far as I can tell. It's the look. That clueless blond space-between-the-ears look of yours," Lucifer said. "The morning after I've fucked a girl, she always wakes up wondering how the hell did that happen."

"Date rape is a hell of a drug," Kara agreed.

"I'm full of surprises, Kara. They never see me coming. That's what you're missing," Lucifer said to her.

"I'll practice raping Mon as soon as possible," Kara assured him.

"Excuse me while I establish I can speak every language on the planet," Lucifer said walking off to talk with some Asian people.

"By all means," Kara rolled her eyes unimpressed.

"Let's go take a subway," Lucifer invited.

Kara sighed and indulged him.

* * *

Kara got home still not used to the blood-red paint job. But now, Mon was trashing rooms taking down doors and punching through walls. "What the fuck is all this?" she asked him.

Mon was in the bathroom in his underwear unconcerned with her outburst. "All what?" he asked.

"All this shit," Kara pointed out a destroyed room.

"Oh, that. I'm creating a library for all of my video games and DVDs," Mon said obviously.

"And you need a whole room for that?" Kara asked incredulously.

"Yes, yes I do," Mon said seriously.

"Suit up, we're going to a rich people party," Kara ordered.

"You have to fuck me first," he demanded.

Kara rolled her eyes. "Fine."


	3. Chapter 3

Kara was nervous in her black dress while Mon was in his suit as they took the elevator to the top floor. "I don't know if I can handle this," Kara said honestly.

"We should go back home," Mon advised.

"Say something nice," Kara ordered.

"Something nice," Mon mocked her.

"Promise me you won't make an ass of yourself," Kara demanded.

"I promise," Mon said with false sincerity.

The two entered a large room filled with snooty rich people. "There you are," Cat smiled greeting them.

"Sorry, we're late. Mon retained my services for an hour," Kara excused.

"Kara Danvers, health-code warrior," Brainiac 5 walked up to her.

"Barney, this is Mon," Kara introduced him.

"Yes, I know. We've met...in the future," Brainiac 5 smiled wide-eyed. "Well, Kara, these are the most wealthy and most powerful in Metropolis all in one spot."

"The _revolution_ can wait. I'm just here to get drunk as fuck," Kara said to him.

"Very well," Brainiac 5 allowed. "Allow me to introduce you to a rare animal in New York: Republican politicians."

Brainiac 5 introduced Kara to two Republican state senators. "How does it feel to be completely powerless and unable to stop the blue wave tide?" Kara asked them.

"It actually feels pretty damn good soaking up all that Wallstreet money while not having to be accountable for shit," one of them said.

"Donald Trump was supposed to be here tonight, but he ended up president somehow," Cat frowned.

"Well, I'll be damned," Kara said amazed.

Lucifer then entered the party in a pure black suit and approached the two state senators. "Well, if it isn't God's Own Party," he joked with them.

Lucifer then approached Mon who was inappropriately flirting with the ladies. "Mon-El, Lucifer Morning Star," he introduced himself to him.

"Son-of-a-bitch, how have you been?" Mon asked giving him a bro-hug as if they had known each other for years. The two sat down on the couch while enjoying glasses of champagne.

"The fuck you doing back in this time?" Lucifer asked him.

"Well, it turns out Saturn Girl was a real bitch, so I came back to trade up," Mon said honestly.

"The divorce finalized?" Lucifer asked slightly concerned.

"As far as I'm concerned this is the present, the marriage never even happened," Mon smiled.

"My man," Lucifer gave him a high-five. "Well, don't you worry. Kara is going to do fine."

"I really don't give a shit," Mon said truthfully.

"How about you? How you holding up? Missing family?" Lucifer asked.

"The only thing worse than not having parents was my mother," Mon said bitterly

"I can relate," Lucifer nodded. "May I make a suggestion? It's sensitive."

"Go ahead, bro," Mon allowed.

"It's about your beard. That's why I ask," Lucifer said awkwardly.

"What about my beard?" Mon asked defensively. "You not like it."

"No, no, no, I adore it. It just doesn't belong to you," Lucifer said.

"No shit?" Mon wondered.

"You should shave it. Show that strong chin of yours. Do it, see what happens. You don't like it, grow another beard," Lucifer advised.

"This whole conversation is becoming...a little queer, don't you think?" Mon asked him.

"Oh, no homo," Lucifer added.

"Right, no homo," Mon nodded reassured.

Meanwhile, Kara went out to the balcony and found Alex having a drink by herself. "So, do you have this view now?" she asked bitterly.

"Just about but I'm twelve floors down," Kara said. "You still live downtown."

"Yep," Alex nodded.

"Well, downtown can be fun," Kara allowed.

"Is it everything you expected? Getting child abusers and voodoo witch doctors off the hook?" Alex asked disdainfully.

"More," Kara smirked.

"You just like to be on top, don't you?" Alex assumed.

"Not always...but often," Kara smiled amused.

"I mean the situation," Alex clarified.

Lucifer interrupted them as he entered the balcony. "District Attorney Alex Danvers, it's been too long since we sparred in court. You know what I see? I see the future of this law firm."

Alex gave him a total look of disdain. "I will never join your firm. Somethings are more important than money and prestige."

"Like what?" Lucifer wondered.

"Like justice, duty, honor, integrity, things you wouldn't know anything about," Alex told him off.

"Oh, I know them. I just don't practice them," Lucifer smiled. "Don't think you're so innocent, Alex. You've got your own dirty little secrets deep in your closet. It's about time you came out of that dusty closet."

"Good evening," Alex said politely and walked off.

Kara gave Lucifer an awkward look. "She can be a handful."

"We need to talk," Lucifer said suddenly serious. "Something's come up. I need you to come up to my place."

"You could at least take me out to dinner before you fuck me," Kara shook her head dismayed.

"God damn, I'm being serious, this time," Lucifer assured her.

"Fine, whatever," Kara said walking away.

* * *

Kara exited the elevator with Hank and Brainiac 5 and entered Lucifer's apartment. It was one room, albeit a big one. It had a table desk, chairs, a bar, but no bed or bathroom that she could tell. In the back was a weird-ass sculpture of marble that looked like ocean waves crashing against each other.

"Is this it?" Kara asked confused.

"Just this room," Brainiac 5 confirmed.

"Where does he go to take a shit?" Kara wondered.

"I believe he uses this room for business purposes only," Brainiac 5 assumed.

"But still," Kara said looking around. "Where does he sleep?"

"Who says he sleeps?" Hank interjected.

"Where does he fuck?" Kara pressed.

"Everywhere," Lucifer interrupted overhearing them.

"What appears to be the problem?" Brainiac 5 asked.

"How many hours did we bill Lena Luthor, last year?" Lucifer asked.

"Sixteen thousand, forty-two," Brainiac 5 said exactly.

"What the fuck did she do now?" Hank asked.

"Lena Luthor has just been charged with statutory rape on a fifteen-year-old boy," Lucifer said grimly.

"Holy fuck, when did this happen?" Hank asked incredulously.

"Just now, tonight. I sent Cat downtown to make bail arrangements and to keep her mouth shut while we figure this out," Lucifer said.

"I'll get our best lawyers on the case," Brainiac 5 assured him.

"No, I want Kara on the case," Lucifer stopped him.

"I believe a lawyer of more experience is necessary for this kind of case. Kara's legal experience has been completely random so far," Brainiac 5 said.

"I've shaken hands with every defense attorney in Metropolis and none of them are as hot as Kara," Lucifer said staring at her intently.

"Lu, you have a great eye for talent but statistically speaking this will not end well for our client," Brainiac 5 calculated.

"I want you onboard, Barney," Lucifer demanded.

"Absolutely," Brainiac 5 changed his tune.

"I appreciate the vote of confidence but maybe Lena should finally take the fall," Kara said.

"The woman is our client. I know her better than she knows herself. We got the inside track to Luthor Corp," Lucifer argued.

The phone then rang. "Speak of the Devil," Lucifer smiled. "Kara, get that."

Kara picked up the phone without hesitancy. "Hey, Cat, it's me. Yeah, I'm on it. Where are we at?"

* * *

Kara came home late to find Mon piss-drunk still in his suit in a dark room. "You left me there. I didn't know where you were," he said filled with self-pity.

"Stop, reset. I'm upstairs with Lucifer getting the case of a lifetime. I had to bail on the party," Kara excused herself.

"You...bailed on me," Mon said peeved.

"Mon, stop being a little bitch and man-up. I was gone for a few hours. I expect you to be able to take care of yourself even when I'm not around," Kara scolded.

"What am I supposed to do around here?" Mon asked frustrated.

"You could go to school, get yourself a job," Kara suggested.

"Fuck that," Mon rejected immediately.

"How about you put out fires, save a cat out of a tree?" Kara said sarcastically.

"I'm allergic to lead. One bullet and I'm toast," Mon said bitterly.

"I don't have time to deal with your bullshit. I'm tired and I have a big day tomorrow," Kara said fiercely.

Mon stumbled towards her. "I love you," he slurred his words and then passed out on the floor.

"Typical," Kara shook her head and went to sleep.

* * *

Lucifer, Brainiac 5, and Kara met up with Lena at L Tower the next morning. She looked down from her office at the press huddled around the entrance to the building. "Like insects," she said scornfully.

"I recommend you calm down," Brainiac 5 said insensitively.

"Lu, maybe she is good, who knows, but come on, this is my ass on the line!" Lena freaked out on him.

"Lena, you know how this town works. You have enemies everywhere. Now that you're down, this is going to be an old-fashioned pig-fuck. You know it's coming. You have to ask yourself who you can trust. Who do you trust, Lena?" Lucifer asked her.

"Not her, she fucking lied to me about not being Supergirl. I thought we were friends," Lena said tearfully.

"Friend is a strong word," Kara rolled her eyes.

"You can trust me, Lena. I told you the first time I met you who I was and what I was about, didn't I?" Lucifer reminded her.

"Yeah, but I should look around and do my due diligence," Lena said turning away from them.

"You don't have time to shop, Lena. Jury selection is this morning. This is what people know," Kara said holding up a Daily Planet newspaper. "You fucked this kid three damn times. That kid is willing to testify against you. There is surveillance footage of this kid entering and exiting your tower at the time he said it occurred. You and this kid have DNA evidence on the same sex-toy collected in your apartment. You have sexually suggestive text messages sent back-and-forth between you and this kid," Kara laid it all out.

"I didn't fuck a kid. That night, I was with a grown-ass man with a nine-inch cock, you understand? Is that a crime?" Lena asked angrily.

"We need to get in front of this fast," Kara said obviously.

"I didn't fuck a kid. This is a nightmare," Lena said filled with self-pity. "How am I going to convince anyone I'm innocent? I'm a Luthor."

"About that, you ever thought to change your last name?" Kara asked helpfully.

"You're right, Lena. The people need to know your side of the story," Brainiac 5 said condescendingly.

"Look, if you're not happy today and tomorrow, go ahead and fire my ass. But right now, you need immediate representation or you're fucked. We need to issue a statement," Kara advised.

"She's a winner, Lena," Lucifer promised her.

"Alright, but you better not fuck me over this time, Kara, or else I'll go full Cadmus on your ass," Lena threatened.


	4. Chapter 4

Mon was super-confident sporting a clean-shaven look as he went shopping with M'gann and Nia. He took particular interest in the women's underwear display visualizing how it would look on Kara. "Wouldn't buy it even if they were giving it away," M'gann shot him down.

The three of them went into a department store for the rich and ordered some chardonnay in the changing room. "Keep it coming," Mon encouraged as M'gann filled up his glass.

"You think she would like this?" Mon wondered looking at a sparkling blue-and-red shirt.

"You know what she's going to do? She's going to wear it once and throw it away," M'gann predicted.

"Does sound like her," Mon agreed.

"I say spend it all on her," Nia suggested.

Mon watched intently as both women started to undress stripping down to their underwear and then taking their bras off in front of him. "How do you like my tits?" M'gann asked him.

"They're decent," Mon complimented.

"And how about my ass?" Nia asked.

"It's a bit flat but nothing money can't buy," Mon said.

"Not too big, not too small. Perfect," M'gann said proudly.

"I'd give it a ten," Mon said honestly.

"Real or not?" M'gann challenged.

"Seeing as how you're a shape-shifting plant from Mars, they better be real and perfect," Mon said.

"What about mine?" Nia asked.

"Must be real," Mon said obliviously.

"Feel them," M'gann offered.

"Seriously?" Mon wondered.

"It's the ultimate test," M'gann encouraged him.

"Just don't tell Kara about this," Mon said as he touched M'gann's left breast a little longer than necessary. "Better check the other one just to make sure," he said going to the other one. "Yes, very real."

Nia then dropped her underwear on the floor nonchalantly. Mon stared at her, then at her dick, and then back to her face like he couldn't compute it. "So, what do you think?" Nia asked.

Mon stared at her and then immediately bailed.

* * *

Kara watched as Mon paced around the living room. "She had a dick!" he shouted.

"They can probably hear you the next floor up," Kara said embarrassed.

"I don't give a shit. These women...have dicks and balls," Mon stressed to her.

"Just because one did doesn't mean they all do," Kara said obviously.

"The other one is a shape-shifter. What if she's really a man?" Mon asked her.

"You just left them in the store?" Kara asked unimpressed.

"Yes!" Mon shouted.

"Alright, calm the fuck down," Kara ordered.

"Fuck no!" Mon refused.

"Mon, stop being a baby. Now, you've done this radical thing to your face," Kara remarked of his clean-shaven appearance

"You hate it?" Mon assumed.

"I think it's fine. It does remind me of when you were a total man-baby for an entire God damn season!" Kara yelled at him. "Look, all you have to do is sit on your ass and not get into trouble. Maybe, you were just drunk."

"No, no, I saw that dick. It wasn't the wine," Mon refuted. "I'm being tested. My resolve as a man is being tested with all these beautiful women with fine titties all with dicks."

"You're fucking unbelievable. I have this new job, this important case. My frienemy's life is at stake, right now," Kara said pissed-off.

"Your mother is on her way here," Mon brought up.

"Well...shit," Kara muttered. "Alright, Mon, take off your clothes. Let's fuck."

"Don't tease me," Mon warned.

"Apparently, you've been seeing dicks all morning. Time for you to knock me up," Kara said condescendingly.

"Alright," Mon smiled leaving towards the bedroom.

"No, Mon, here, on this wooden floor," Kara ordered.

"You fucking serious?" Mon stared at her incredulously.

"Right here, right now," Kara said pointing to the uncomfortably hard floor.

"Fuck it," Mon sighed and stripped himself down.

The two made out and then descended to the floor naked with Mon on his back. "This is really uncomfortable," he said to her.

"Shut up, you're being punished," Kara said to him as she started riding him.

As they made love, Kara imagined someone else was with her other than Mon. Looking down, she saw Alex naked and giving her a disapproving look. Kara gave her an odd look but didn't question it. She grinded herself into her, sucked on her nipples, and kissed her deeply. Alex let out an erotic sigh as they rubbed together. Kara then started sucking on Alex's toes as she lifted her leg for a classic scissor position.

"Kara, what the fuck are you doing?" Mon wondered.

Kara ignored him as she went into freak-mode smothering him with kisses and clutching his flat chest while twisting his nipples. "Okay, stop. I already finished," Mon said to her.

Kara ignored him and kept going until Alex gave her an orgasmic scream. Finally, Kara came back to her senses. "Where are you?" Mon wondered of her.

"Right here," Kara said obviously.

"No, you're not," Mon sensed.

* * *

Kara headed back to L Tower dismissing the Lesbian incest fantasy that had gone through her head just a moment ago. She entered Lena's personal apartment to discuss what had happened the night in question. "I need to know exactly what happened that night," Kara said to her.

"You're standing there, you look down, there's the sex-toy," Kara pointed to the floor.

"Look, I don't know why I picked it up," Lena admitted.

"Did you kneel down to pick it up?" Kara asked.

"I get home late from work, he's there, I use the toy on him, it's not something you fucking plan for!" Lena deflected.

"Stop, back-up. You used your right hand and the right knee to pick it up?" Kara doubted.

"We've been over this," Lena said frustrated.

"I'm trying to picture it. I mean, I don't want to picture you with a fifteen-year-old boy but my job requires me to," Kara explained.

"He wasn't fifteen, he must have been twice that age," Lena said defensively.

"You picked it up from the inside and from underneath? That's awkward as fuck," Kara remarked as she tried to imitate the move.

"You want to see it?" Lena asked pulling the sex-toy out of her pocket. "I'll show you."

She dropped the sex-toy on the floor, got on a knee, and gracefully picked it up from underneath, and then got back up. "You see it? We clear? Can we move on?"

"Whose sex-toy is that?" Kara demanded.

"It's mine," Lena said obviously.

"Are you out of your mind? Give it over. Give me the cock," Kara demanded.

"So, you can use it for yourself. Fuck you, Kara," Lena refused.

"This is a deal-breaker, Lena," Kara said resolved.

"I have to satisfy myself," Lena said defensively.

"That's my job," Kara reminded her. "When the case is over, you can have it back."

"Damn you," Lena handed it over to her.

"Okay, let's wrap it up," Kara said uncomfortably.

"So, what's next?" Lena asked.

"We need to talk to your assistant, Miss Tesschmacker," Kara said.

"Okay, call her," Lena said awkwardly.

"You confident she'll back you on the time?" Kara asked.

"Yeah, Eve, she's okay. She's a straight arrow," Lena said shakily.

"Okay, I'm going to talk to her and you're not going to talk to anyone, alright?" Kara asked her.

"No comment," Lena agreed.

* * *

Kara, Mon, and Eliza exited a limo and were ambushed by reporters. "Are you really going to have Lena Luthor plead not guilty?" a reporter asked.

"Yes, I am," Kara said confidently.

"What is all this?" Eliza wondered.

"Kara's been in the newspapers again over this case," Mon explained.

"She always enjoys being the center of attention," Eliza shook her head.

Kara then clapped her hands sending the reporters to the ground and then went inside. As she pushed the elevator button, Lucifer and two elegantly dressed prostitutes were with him. "So, this is your mother?" Lucifer asked of Eliza.

"Yes, mom, this is Lucifer Morning Star," Kara introduced him.

"Eliza Danvers," Eliza said weirded out by him.

"Pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Danvers," Lucifer smiled at her. "Mon, you're looking sharp," he said and then gave him a greeting kiss on the cheek.

"No homo," Lucifer assured him.

"Right, no homo," Mon nodded.

The group went into the elevator. "This isn't your first time in Metropolis, is it?" Lucifer asked Eliza.

"No, I've been here plenty of times," Eliza said.

"You've done one hell of a job bringing her up. I'm sure it wasn't easy," Lucifer complimented.

"No, it wasn't," Eliza eyed Kara.

"We're here," Kara said to her party.

"Goodnight to you," Eliza said irked by him.

"Kara, hold up," Lucifer called her. "How's it going with Lena Luthor?"

"That's a long conversation," Kara evaded.

"Want to come up and tell me?" Lucifer asked.

"Now?" Kara asked incredulously. She then noticed the two prostitutes making out with each other. "Let's talk tomorrow."

"You sure?" Lucifer smiled.

"Yeah," Kara nodded.

Kara then went inside her apartment to Mon shaking his head with disapproval. "Is that what you do when you're working late, having Lesbian threesomes...without me present?" Mon accused.

"Mon, shut the fuck up. God damn," Kara shook her head.

"I don't have to take this. I'm going to bed," Mon stormed off.

"Think of me while you go fuck yourself!" Kara yelled at him. She then turned to Eliza with a pleasant demeanor. "So, mom, how was your trip?"


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, the Daily Planet had a front-page article on Lena and the boy in question. The picture had Lena hugging the boy at an orphanage sponsored by L Corp, therefore, establishing a pre-existing link between the two before the incident.

"Shit," Kara realized

Kara then noticed Eliza had packed her things ready to leave. "Mom, where are you going?"

"I'm going home. I don't feel right being here," she said vaguely.

"You just got here and I just got fucked on the front-page. I need your support with this," Kara said to her.

"And what about Alex?" Eliza asked obviously.

"What about her?" Kara asked annoyed.

"She's the prosecutor in charge of this case. I can't have favorites between you two," Eliza said.

"Look, if Alex loses this case she still gets a government salary, life goes on. If I lose this case, I lose my job, my apartment, my way of life," Kara said dramatically.

"You chose to be a high-class lawyer. Why don't you go back to being a reporter?" Eliza suggested.

"No, I'm done with that shit. I didn't cheat on the bar exam and bribe all those law schools and professors to fail now," Kara said determinedly.

"I have to go, Kara. I miss my church," Eliza said lamely.

"This is Metropolis. There have to be twenty-thousand churches. Just pick one," Kara said dismissively.

"You need to be better with Mon. He's not well. This place is not good for him, Kara," Eliza lectured.

"What the fuck did I just hear? He's a grown-ass man. I mean, what the _fuck_?" Kara asked incredulously. "If you feel that bad for him, stay," Kara said finally.

"I'll take him home if you let me," Eliza volunteered.

"This is home, understand. I'm not going back to Midvale. Unbelievable!" Kara said pissed off. "You know what? Do whatever the fuck you want. _Jesus!_ " she said as she exited.

* * *

Kara met up with Eve Tesschmaker at the firm. "Lena didn't fuck that boy. I know her. She can be a difficult woman but she couldn't do this," Eve said.

"That's why we're all working so hard," Kara said with false sincerity.

"Thank you," Eve said appreciatively and then walked out.

Kara couldn't help but notice all the noise in one of the rooms. She went to check it out and found Brainiac 5 leading a team in shredding documents. "Barney, this looks shady as fuck," Kara remarked.

Barney nodded. There was an awkward silence between them. "So, I just talked with Lena's assistant. It looks like she's going to prove to be a good alibi," Kara said proudly.

"A pleasant surprise to be sure," Brainiac 5 said as he led her out of the room.

"Looks like you have your hands full. Need some help?" Kara offered.

"Just a little house cleaning. Nothing that would interest you," Brainiac 5 said condescendingly. "Oh, and nobody saw this."

"My lips are sealed, buddy," Kara assured him.

"Thank you for your discretion," Brainiac 5 said appreciatively.

"Barney, what is it that you do here?" Kara asked.

"Every puppet needs a master," Brainiac 5 smiled.

"Kara, we're going out to the garden. I got tickets to the title fight," Lucifer interrupted them.

"Fuck yeah, let's go," Kara said completely forgetting about Mon.

"We're taking the subway," Lucifer told her.

"Well...shit," Kara groaned.

* * *

On the subway, Kara and Lucifer continued to chat. "You know Barney is a shady mother-fucker, right?" Kara asked him.

"I don't like to micromanage. I find the talent and then I delegate, like you," Lucifer said unconcernedly. "Who the hell knows what Barney is up to. I have a lot of fingers in a lot of pies."

"I get the sexual innuendo," Kara nodded.

"Excuse me, what the fuck are you looking at?" a Puerto Rican gangbanger demanded of Lucifer with his buddy next to him. "Get the fuck out of my car."

"Why? What did I ever do to you?" Lucifer asked shocked and appalled.

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you," the gangbanger told him pulling out a knife.

Kara grabbed both gangbangers and slammed their heads into each other knocking them out. "Oh, Kara, I was about to use my mastery of Spanish and inside information to scare them away," Lucifer frowned.

"You know shit. I get it," Kara said unimpressed.

The two watched an exciting boxing match that went several rounds. The challenger ultimately prevailed giving Lucifer and Kara something to celebrate as they had both betted on him. "Mon won't mind we're here together, will he?" Lucifer asked slightly concerned.

"He's being a little bitch, so fuck him," Kara said dismissively.

"So, you won't mind if we go to my favorite restaurant and get drunk as fuck?" Lucifer invited.

"Lead the way," Kara readily agreed.

* * *

At the restaurant, Lucifer and Kara enjoyed the busy atmosphere as everyone watched the band and the dancers. As they were enjoying themselves, Kara got a phone call from Mon. "What is it?" she asked annoyed.

"Where you at?" Mon asked hearing the noise in the background.

"I'm with Lu hanging out. We just got down watching a title fight," Kara said nonchalantly.

"I thought we were going to see that fight together," Mon recalled.

"Mon, you're starting to really piss me off," Kara said angrily and then hung up.

Kara then noticed Lucifer dancing expertly with the Puerto Rican dancer. Getting on the stage, Kara waved the dancer off so she could be with Lucifer. "Let's culturally appropriate the shit out of this place," she said to him.

"Lead the way," Lucifer smiled.

The two danced the traditional Puerto Rican dance perfectly as the crowd applauded them. Kara got close to Lucifer as their dance became more intimate. As they seemed to be on the verge of kissing, Kara regained herself and left the stage.

The two sat down a full table of Lucifer's so-called friends. Lucifer boldly whispered into a blond woman's ear that he wanted head. She went under the table to oblige him. Normally, this would shock and appall any other woman, but Kara merely nodded impressed by his audacity.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mon was passed out drunk in the living room full of self-pity. He suddenly awoke, hearing a noise. "Kara?" he questioned.

When he didn't get an answer, he went down the hall looking to beat the shit out of the intruder. "Who's there? I just want to talk," Mon lied.

With his X-ray vision, he scanned each room and then came upon the intruder. It was a child about two-years-old sitting naked on the floor all by himself. "The fuck?" Mon wondered.

He cautiously approached the child. "Hey, baby, how did you get here?" he asked. The baby made no reply. "Baby, what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?" Mon asked more forcefully.

Again the baby made no response. "Well...shit," Mon muttered and then tried to salvage the situation. "Hey, where's your mommy?"

The baby still gave no response but appeared to be playing with something. Mon peered around the child and saw a gruesome sight as the child appeared to be playing with exposed bloody testicles. "Holy Mother of God," Mon stared at the kid.

Mon then felt the worst case of blue-balls he had ever experienced. Looking down, his underwear was soaked with blood. Mon screamed in terror until he finally woke up. He instantly felt for his balls and sighed with relief that they were still there. "Got to lay off the drugs," he muttered.

* * *

The next morning, Kara found Mon shell-shocked in the living room. "Bad night?" she wondered.

"I had a dream...of a baby...holding my balls," Mon said positively spooked.

"Well, it was just a dream. You still have your balls, right?" Kara asked slightly concerned.

Mon nodded. "Look, let's get you undressed, and then I'll suck on those balls. Would that set things right?" Kara offered.

"I am the last of my race. It was my duty to produce a male heir," Mon said turning away from her and looking out the window.

"Mon, what the fuck are you talking about?" Kara asked impatiently. "Are you nervous, all shook up? I'll get you a doctor to get you some happy pills."

"I already went to the doctor," Mon said somberly. "He said my sperm count is non-existent. I can't have children with you...or anyone, for that matter."

"Mon...," Kara began.

"You're going to leave me, aren't you?" Mon assumed.

"Mon, look at the silver lining. It means sex without consequences. We don't have to worry about me getting pregnant anymore. We don't have to look at the calendar or pull out anymore. You can release inside me every time," Kara said to him.

Mon looked at her unconvinced. Kara's cell phone then rang. "I got to get this."

"Oh, fuck me, right?" Mon asked her.

"I don't have time to deal with your mid-life crisis, alright," Kara said dismissively.

"The DA just handed us another bombshell on the Luthor case," Hank told her.

"Fuck! I knew Alex was holding out on us. I'll be right there," Kara said leaving Mon behind.

* * *

Kara went out to meet Lena at the orphanage where she was escorted away by court-appointed social workers. "I founded this orphanage. I am responsible for all this and now I can't even be with the kids any longer. Oh God, if I lose this case I'll be on the sex-offender registry my whole life," Lena said horrified.

"I have paperwork that states you were trying to adopt the boy in question," Kara accused.

"So what?" Lena wondered.

"That's motive, Lena. You wanted to adopt him so you could have sex with him," Kara said obviously.

"That's bullshit and you know it," Lena said angrily.

"It's all coming out. Now, I talked with Eve and she's willing to testify that the night in question, you were actually with her having hawt Lesbian sex," Kara informed her.

"Wait...what?" Lena protested.

"Yes, we're going to 'out' you to the press, the whole world, because as long as you are boning Eve with a strap-on, you're not having sex with a boy," Kara told her.

"Jurys want honesty," Lena argued.

"If there is even one LGBT person on that jury, we, at least, hung it," Kara said.

"That's fucked up. You're fucked up," Lena said dismayed.

"Coming from you, I must be," Kara said wide-eyed.

"I can't, I won't," Lena refused and walked off.

"Well...shit," Kara sighed.

* * *

Later that day, Kara and Lucifer casually walked the streets of Metropolis. "You're just hormonal because your balls don't work," Kara said and then hung up on Mon.

"I'm taking you off the case," Lucifer said suddenly.

"What the fuck did I just hear?" Kara asked angrily.

"I want you to drop this case," Lucifer repeated.

"What? I have to present to a jury tomorrow," Kara protested.

"Do you love this man?" Lucifer asked rhetorically.

"On most days," Kara allowed.

"Then, what are you doing, Kara? He's sick. Everyone will understand. I'll understand," Lucifer said.

"What about Lena?" Kara asked. "Fuck her?"

"We find someone new. You consult," Lucifer said obviously.

"No, no, no, fuck no, no. I put together a great jury. I ain't consulting shit," Kara disagreed.

"Let it go, Kara. Live to fight another day," Lucifer said calmly.

"No, we have to talk about this," Kara said pissed-off.

"Listen to yourself, Kara. He's your boyfriend. He's sick, he needs you, he's got to come first. Wait...it never crossed your mind to leave this case?" Lucifer asked her.

"You're wrong. Men stand up for themselves, they lead, they fight, they don't let their feelings get in the way. A husband dropping this case to care for his wife? That, I can understand. A wife leaving work and ending her career for her sick husband. That's bullshit. He cares for me, he serves me, he provides for me, not the other way around," Kara told him off.

"Holy fuck," Lucifer stared at her in amazement.

"You want to save our relationship, keep me on the case. Because if I get taken off this case and then he gets better, I'll resent his sorry ass. I'm going to win this case, put it behind me, and then deal with Mon being a bitch," Kara said.

"I stand corrected," Lucifer relented. "So, fill me in. Did Eve admit to having the affair?"

"She did to me, but she won't in court," Kara said vaguely not wanting to tell him the whole alibi was a lie.

"Well, convince her otherwise," Lucifer said simply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By now, I hope you all have cracked the case because the "boy in question" will be revealed in the next chapter. To you, I ask, "Would this movie still work narratively if the genders were reversed? Would the idea of a successful female lawyer quitting a case to tend to her mentally ill husband be too ridiculous for our modern sensibilities?"


	6. Chapter 6

Alex took all morning to make her opening statement in front of the jury. "And when all the evidence is laid out before you, when all of these pieces are weaved together, you will conclude, you will know that Lena Luthor is guilty of raping that boy with malice and total disregard for civilized society. Thank you."

"Miss Danvers, the other Miss Danvers, you may make your opening statement now or after lunch," the judge said.

"Your Honor, I prefer to make it now. I won't be as long-winded as the DA," Kara said standing up. Alex gave her a dirty look as she walked towards the jury.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I know you've been listening to Alex talk. I know, by now, you're bored as fuck. What I need to tell you won't take very long at all," Kara assured them.

"I don't like Lena Luthor. I don't think she's a nice person. I don't expect you to like her either. She's been a terrible girlfriend to all three of her fiance's, been a destructive force in the life of her brother and mother, she's cheated the city, her partners, her employees, she's paid hundreds of thousands of dollars in penalties and fines over the years. I don't like her. I'm going to tell you some things during the course of this trial that will make you like her even less," Kara began.

Lena mouthed "What the fuck?" completely dismayed by what she was hearing from Kara.

Kara awkwardly paused. "I actually...lost my train of thought."

The jury gave her a blank look. "Oh, right, this isn't a popularity contest. It's a sex-abuse trial and the single most provable fact of this proceeding is that Lena Luthor was somewhere else when this horrible crime supposedly occurred," Kara recovered.

"Now, the state is going all-out here. They got this whole team here. They're throwing everything but the kitchen sink at this case," Kara pointed out Alex, Winn, Maggie, and Lucy. They all gave Kara an unimpressed look.

"I want one thing from you. That's it. One thing. I want you to ask yourself is not liking this woman reason enough to convict her of sex abuse with a minor? Enjoy your lunch...if you can. We'll talk again," Kara said ending her statement.

* * *

In the women's restroom, Lena punched Kara to the face and nearly broke her hand. "Fuck," she hissed.

"I hope that felt better for you than it did for me," Kara mocked.

"What the fuck was that about? They're going to hate me," Lena said distressed.

"Listen to me like you've never listened to anyone before. I'm going to bust my ass to make sure they hate you," Kara said.

There was a long awkward pause. "Damn it. I lost my train of thought," Kara admitted.

"Very cute," Lena said scornfully.

"Look, if you're busy titty twisting Eve, you're not with that boy, alright," Kara said obviously.

"Why didn't you say that before?" Lena asked annoyed.

"I'm all about being spontaneous," Kara smirked.

* * *

Kara casually walked the streets when Brainiac 5 ran up to her. "What's up?" she asked him.

"Congratulations, my dear," Brainiac 5 complimented.

"It's not over, yet. In fact, I think it only started," Kara said confused.

"I don't mean the trial. You're now on the firm's charter as the newest partner," Brainiac 5 informed her.

"Wow, imagine that," Kara said amused. "How are your late-night shredder sessions going?"

"As well as can be expected," Brainiac 5 said vaguely.

"What's your deal, Barney?" Kara asked bluntly.

"There's a reason why I am irreplaceable. I have connections all over the globe. I'm the one that really runs this firm. Lucifer is merely a figurehead. Together, we can overthrow him," Brainiac 5 suggested.

"What do you need me to do?" Kara asked intrigued.

"Just stay on Lucifer's good side and get him to think you're on his side. I will take care of the rest," Brainiac 5 assured her.

"Alright, what are you up to now?" Kara asked.

"I think I'll go for a jog," Brainiac 5 said and then ran off.

"Well, okay then," Kara let him go.

* * *

Brainiac 5 made his way around the city on the walk-trail only to be ambushed by a homeless man. "I want your watch," he said to him.

"I actually like this watch," Brainiac 5 refused.

Brainiac 5 was then hit hard by another homeless man with a tree branch. The two homeless men beat him at the same time with tree branches. Brainiac 5 merely stood there until their tree branches broke apart. He then casually took out a pistol and shot them both.

Brainiac 5 then disappeared as he cloaked himself.

* * *

Kara met up with Eve at the firm office to coach her. "You testified that the defendant called you at four-thirty to come to her office for the purposes of sex?" Kara asked.

"Yes," Eve nodded.

"Lena Luthor isn't just your lover, is she? She's your boss," Kara clarified.

"Yes," Eve agreed.

"So two hours go by before you act on her request?" Kara asked skeptically.

"Yes, I went up at six-ten. I know it was six-ten because I heard the weather report coming on the news," Eve said lamely.

"Okay, stop. This prosecutor is no fool. She's going to change tempo, attitude, tone of voice. She's going to come out with weird-ass questions you never thought of just to fuck you up. So, what do we do?" Kara asked condescendingly.

"Yes or no answers and stay calm," Eve said.

"Exactly. Is it your testimony, Miss Teschmacher that between six-ten and nine-forty you were engaged in sexual congress with the defendant?" Kara continued.

"Yes, Eve lied.

"At any point in this three-hour marathon, did you lose sight of the defendant?" Kara asked.

"No," Eve lied.

"Did she use the bathroom?" Kara asked.

"Yes," Eve giggled.

"What color is the defendant's strap-on?" Kara asked. Eve said nothing to that. "You understand the question?"

"Yeah," Eve said flustered.

"So, what color is it?" Kara pressed.

"I...," Eve stuttered.

"It's BLACK, Eve. It's always black! Once you go black, you don't go back, remember?" Kara asked her pissed-off.

"I forgot," Eve admitted.

"You have supposedly been having a lesbian affair with her and you don't remember? Do you want Lena to go to jail?" Kara asked her.

"No," Eve sobbed.

"Then, stop forgetting important shit. _Jesus!_ " Kara shouted as she left the room.

Kara sighed as she took a breather. Cat then came up to her. "You're due in court in thirty minutes," she reminded her.

"Shit!" Kara realized.

"We done here...or not?" Eve asked exiting the room.

"I'll take her," Cat volunteered. "I want to hear the whole sordid affair. Don't hold anything back."

Kara then eyed Lucifer smiling at her as he entered the office. "Let's take the subway."

* * *

Kara had her face in her hands as she considered the fact that her star witness was a total ditz. "What's wrong?" Lucifer asked.

"I can't put her on the stand," Kara shook her head.

"What choice do you have?" Lucifer asked.

"I know she's lying," Kara said declining to tell him that lie was her own idea. "Lena fucked that boy," she told him.

"Do you really believe that?" Lucifer asked.

"Lena, Eve, they all set me up. I know it," Kara declared.

"You got to go with your gut," Lucifer advised.

"That's your advice?" Kara asked incredulously.

"I'll back you no matter what. Kara, remember when you never gave a shit. What happened to you?" Lucifer asked her.

"It's not about Lena. It's about respect. I'm going to beat Alex at her own game," Kara said determinedly.

* * *

Alex went first and showed the jury Lena's apartment building surveillance footage showing the victim entering the building and then leaving three hours later. Alex then asked routine questions of the L Corp security chief on the specifics of the surveillance equipment.

"Is there any footage of the defendant entering or leaving the building between six-ten and nine-forty?" Alex asked him.

"No," he replied.

"I noticed there was a five-minute gap in the footage soon after the victim entered the building," Kara said playing the blank footage to the jury.

"There was an electrical surge that knocked out power to the building. It took a few minutes for the system to reboot," the security chief said to her.

"Is there any actual footage of the victim entering or leaving Lena's apartment?" Kara asked.

"No," the security chief said flatly.

"Does the surveillance system cover every single exit of the building?" Kara asked him.

"Not all," he said.

"So, it's possible the defendant left through the back exit?" Kara asked.

"Sure," the security chief shrugged.

Alex then brought in a forensic expert to the stand. "You found the victim's DNA on the bed, the sex-toy, the shower, the floor, and the walls?" Alex asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"And did you find the defendant's DNA also in the apartment?" Alex asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"And was the DNA collected of the same relative age?" Alex asked.

"Yes," she confirmed.

Kara then questioned the expert. "What is the margin of error as to the age of the samples you found?" she asked.

"A few hours," she said.

"So, it's possible the victim went inside the apartment, jerked off everywhere, and then left. Then, the defendant did the same thing a few hours later?" Kara asked.

"There was no sign of a break-in," the expert refuted.

"Perhaps it was unlocked or someone else let him in," Kara surmised.

"I suppose anything is possible," the expert rolled her eyes.

Alex then put the apartment parking manager on the stand to testify that Lena's cars hadn't moved that night. "Isn't it possible the defendant took the subway?" Kara asked him.

"A billionaire using the subway? Like that's going to happen?" the parking manager rolled his eyes.

Alex smirked as Kara was getting her ass kicked. "I call Billy Batson to the stand."

Kara eyed the smirking little shit as he dramatically took to the stand wearing a red sweatshirt with a white hoodie. "In your own words, tell the jury what happened," Alex requested.

Billy took thirty minutes doing a play-by-play of everything he did with Lena. As he did, the jury gave Lena a stupified look. Lena shook her head amazed as Billy accurately stated everything she had done with the unknown man she had supposedly had sex with. Alex let Billy ramble on enjoying the moment. It got so bad that even Kara was feeling uncomfortable.

"Then she asked me if she could take a dump on my chest," Billy said.

"And did you oblige her?" Alex asked.

"Fuck yeah," Billy smirked.

"It sounds like you had a good time. Why did you go to the authorities?" Alex asked.

"Well, that night, I thought about everything that had happened to me. I realized I had been abused and used. I didn't want what happened to me happen to any other boy. I knew I had to tell someone. I mean, that's what a hero would do," Billy said.

"No more questions, your honor," Alex rested.

Kara gave Billy a stunned look not sure what to think. "I reserve the right to cross-examine the witness at a later time."

"You may stand own," the judge said to Billy.

He gave a mortified Lena a wink and waltzed out of the courtroom. "Fuck me," Kara realized.

"Your witness, Miss Danvers," the judge said to Kara.

"I call Eve Teschmacher to the stand," Kara said after a dramatic pause.

* * *

A nervous Eve gave her side of the story, a complete lie. This time she did get the color of Lena's sex-toy right. Alex eyed Eve unimpressed. "Isn't it true you had an affair with Lex Luthor, the brother of the defendant?" Alex asked.

"Yes," Eve said not sure where Alex was going with this.

"So, you fucked Lex and Lena even though they were siblings?" Alex questioned. "You take turns with them?"

"It wasn't like that. It was just a one-night stand," Lena said defensively.

"Did you have a threesome with them?" Alex asked.

"No," Lena squeaked.

"Was the sex-toy circumcised?" Alex asked her.

Kara gave Alex an odd look. "Well...I don't remember," Eve said stumped.

"You were with the defendant for three hours and don't know if the sex-toy you both used is cut or not?" Alex asked incredulously.

"It wasn't," Eve blurted out.

"Are you sure? We have it in evidence," Alex questioned.

"I mean, maybe it is," Eve backtracked.

"Isn't it true that this entire lesbian one-night stand is all a lie, an immature story made up by a morally depraved attorney to pander to the LGBT demographic?" Alex accused.

"Objection, badgering the attorney," Kara said lamely.

"I'll rephrase. On the night in question, were you on your period?" Alex asked knowingly.

"Well, yeah, so?" Eve said obliviously.

The entire courtroom stared at her. "What?" she wondered.

"I need a five-minute recess," Kara said completely humiliated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to you if you saw Billy being the victim coming.


	7. Chapter 7

Kara went into the women's restroom and splashed water on her face. "I am so fucked," she realized to herself. "Unless...," she considered and then texted on her phone.

Kara came back into the courtroom. "I call Billy Batson back to the stand," she said feeling confident in herself.

Billy smirkingly swore himself in. "Tell me, do you go by any other alias?" Kara asked.

"Objection, relevance," Alex said.

"Do you go by any other name than Billy Batson?" Kara asked.

"Yeah, William," Billy smirked at her.

Kara kept her cool even as Billy was evading her questioning. Suddenly, the ceiling glass windows shattered as a dark figure landed in the courtroom. Guardian eyed Billy, extended his shield, and threw the shield right at him. "Shazam!" Billy shouted.

There was a flash of lightning with Billy transformed into a man in a superhero suit. In his hands was Guardian's shield. He threw the shield back to Guardian and then blasted him with lighting energy. Guardian was flung out of the courtroom and through the doors.

"Order!" the judge shouted annoyed.

The entire courtroom stared at Shazam and realized what had happened. Billy had transformed into Shazam creating the electrical surge in the apartment building and then had sex with Lena with her none-the-wiser about his true identity. Shazam looked over the staring courtroom sheepishly.

"Did you have sex with my client in this form?" Kara asked point-blank.

"What? No," Shazam lied.

Lena eyed Shazam with a look of recognition. "I have no further questions for this witness. I call Lena Luthor to the stand," Kara announced.

Alex quickly consulted with Winn, Maggie, and Lucy in a huddle. "Your Honor, the state drops all charges," Alex conceded.

With court adjourned, a smiling Lena was overwhelmed with reporters. "I maintained my innocence all along," Lena said to the reporters. Kara gave Lucifer a fist-bump at their victory. "Kara Danvers," Alex called her out.

"Yes?" Kara asked smirking.

"Good job out there. Let's get together soon," Alex said sincerely.

"I'd like that," Kara said and then gave Alex a heartfelt hug.

* * *

Kara found Mon drunk in a bar. "Typical," Kara rolled her eyes. "You okay?" she asked him.

"He let himself in. I didn't even know he was there. We ended up talking for hours," Mon said.

**Flashback**

Lucifer invited himself over and had a beer with Mon while they watched the game. "You know, I like what you've done with your hair. It's a fresh style...and you have the most amazing smile," Lucifer complimented.

"No shit?" Mon asked in great need of a confidence booster.

"Your girlfriend is one lucky lady. I bet that with your looks, you would make a handsome baby," Lucifer predicted.

"If only that was possible," Mon shook his head bitterly.

"I'm sure it's only temporary. You are the height of masculinity, my friend. I like the way your shoulders fit in that shirt. I don't know how you do it but you make it work," Lucifer complimented.

"Thanks, man," Mon said appreciatively.

"And you have a great natural scent. I tell you, I can't get enough of that Daxamite scent," Lucifer said.

"If only Kara cared to mention it," Mon shook his head annoyed.

"Let's get your mind off her for a moment," Lucifer said and then changed the channel. "How about the musical Rent? That will cheer you up."

"I don't know if I'm feeling up for a musical," Mon doubted.

"You want to wrestle, get the blood pumping? I haven't had a decent challenge in years," Lucifer offered.

"What about your suit?" Mon asked him.

"Oh, that, I completely forgot," Lucifer said and then proceeded to take off his suit jacket and tie. "I've got an idea. How about we take a relaxing warm shower together."

"My muscles do feel sore," Mon nodded.

"And afterward we can watch a gay porno," Lucifer suggested.

"The fuck?" Mon wondered.

"I'm just joking, of course. We're both completely and totally straight," Lucifer chuckled.

"Alright, let's do this," Mon said completely buzzed and not thinking _straight_ as he took off his shirt.

"Impressive, Mon. You could wash laundry on those abs," Lucifer complimented.

"I would but that's a woman's job," Mon smirked.

"Of course it is," Lucifer agreed. "You ever thought to pose nude? You could be making even more money than Kara, become the breadwinner of the family."

"Maybe I should," Mon said thoughtfully.

"You look like an ancient Greek god, Mon. Socrates would be all over you, my friend," Lucifer said.

"Wait...this conversation is sounding really gay," Mon suddenly realized.

"Oh, my mistake. No homo," Lucifer assured him.

"Right, no homo," Mon smiled reassured.

"So, let's hit the showers," Lucifer said taking Mon away from the couch to the bathroom.

**End Flashback**

Kara listened to Mon's odd story. Mon began to go into a drunken cry. "Kara...he fucked me...and I think I wanted him to. I don't know what happened. I just couldn't stop him. He just wouldn't stop."

"When was this?" Kara asked shocked and appalled.

"Today, all afternoon. The whole afternoon. I'm so ashamed," Mon admitted.

"Today, he was in court. He was in court in my presence all afternoon," Kara told him.

"No," Mon shook his head.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Kara yelled at him.

"I'm not crazy. You have to believe me," Mon said pathetically and then puked all over the floor.

"God damn," Kara shook her head dismayed. "You know what, Mon. I'm not even pissed. I won a big case today and nothing you can say or do can get me down. I can't believe you thought to tell me that my boss fucked you was going to ruin my mood."

Mon then fell out of his chair and stopped moving. "Shit," Kara realize he wasn't breathing.

She opened his jacket revealing no shirt underneath. His chest, arms, and necks were heavily bruised and scratched up like an angry wolverine had attacked him. "Get an ambulance," Kara ordered urgently and then started performing CPR on him.

* * *

Kara filled out the paperwork for Mon at the hospital and then went outside for a breather. James came up to her. "I heard what happened to Mon," he said.

"He's been through worse," Kara downplayed. "Thanks for pulling that stunt. I don't know how I would have been able to get him to say his name without you."

"As it happens, Lena and I are back together because of it. I saved her ass. I get to tap that ass," James smiled.

"As it should be," Kara smiled back.

"Hey, not to rain on your parade, but Nia's been digging. Your law firm and Lucifer Morning Star, in particular, are shady as fuck. He's tied to drug cartels, weapons manufacturing, chemical weapons, toxic wastes, money laundry, and it goes on-and-on," James told her.

"Barney and I have a plan. You make changes from the inside, not the outside. I'm already a partner," Kara said to him.

"Look, I didn't want to bring this up but Bruce Wayne was caught red-handed with Kate Kane in the trunk of his car nude, tied up, and a ball gag in her mouth. He was saying crazy shit that she was ruining his image," James said seriously.

"Excellent guilt-trip, James," Kara rolled her eyes.

"Well, I have to run," James said taking off across the street.

Kara turned the other way and then heard a loud car horn. She turned back and saw James on the pavement a bloody mess as he had been hit by a car. Kara rushed over to him but his head was gashed open. Kara withdrew from the body dumbfounded and went back to the hospital.

* * *

A shell-shocked Kara entered Mon's hospital room and saw Eliza reading the Bible to Mon who was staring off into space. Cat was also present...for some reason. "What are you doing here?" Kara asked Eliza.

"I came this morning. I called the house but there was no answer. I need to talk to you," Eliza said seriously.

Kara gave Mon a look and broke down. "Are you alright, Kara?" Eliza asked.

"James is dead. I saw it happen. It was a car accident," Kara wiped away tears.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. Let's take this out in the hall," Eliza said to her.

The two exited the room leaving Mon alone with Cat. "I shouldn't have left," Eliza admitted. "I'll never forgive myself."

"There's nothing you could have done," Kara assured her.

"I could have told you the truth," Eliza frowned.

"About what?" Kara asked impatiently.

"Lucifer Morning Star is the Devil, Kara," Eliza revealed.

Kara simply stared at her. "No shit?"

"You knew?" Eliza asked her incredulously.

"You know, I had an inkling," Kara mocked.

"And you're still working for him. Why? Eliza asked her.

"Because I can defeat him at his own game. I can take him down from the inside," Kara said.

"Listen to me, Kara. You can't win against the Devil. He is like a storm, a force of nature. You just withstand him and avoid him," Eliza said to her.

"I'm this close to kicking his ass," Kara said confidently.

The two of them heard a scream down the hall. Kara and Eliza rushed back to find Cat thrown out of the room. "He has my gun," Cat said to them.

"The fuck you have a gun for?" Kara asked.

"For self-defense, obviously," Cat said scornfully.

"Alright, I've had enough of this bullshit," Kara said as she tried to open the door. Mon kept the door shut with his left arm on the door. The two fought for control over the door.

"Mon, open the door!" Kara ordered.

Mon took Cat's pistol and pointed it at his head with his right hand. "God damn it, Mon. Open the door!" Kara shouted at him.

"No homo," Mon said in a monotone voice and then shot himself in the head.

Kara punched the door open and found Mon dead on the floor. Kara came over to his body and knelt down in silence. Eliza came in and stared at Mon's body in shock. "I send you as sheep amongst the wolves," she said sadly.

Kara glared angrily. "I'm no sheep," she said and walked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer and Mon's dialogue is from Lonely Island's "No Homo." One of the flaws of Devil's Advocate is the lack of mystery as to which character is the Devil as Al Pacino makes it so obvious. Here, Kara was aware of it from the beginning.


	8. Chapter 8

Kara exited the hospital but was stopped by Cat at the entrance. "There you are. You look pissed," Cat remarked with red possessed eyes. "Not to worry. He'll take away that anger and grief. You won't ever have to feel sad again. Go on, he's waiting for you."

"Creepy as fuck, Cat. Thank you," Kara said and then noticed the streets were completely empty. "Oh, right, Coronavirus," Kara realized.

Kara then tore her shirt apart revealing her Supergirl uniform and flew off to Lucifer's apartment. She tore through the entrance to his apartment destroying the elevator shaft. "I just want to talk," Kara lied.

"Oh, Kara. I've been watching you, couldn't help myself. Watching, waiting, holding my breath," Lucifer said in her head. Lucifer then appeared behind her."But I'm no puppeteer, Kara. I don't make things happen. It doesn't work like that."

"What did you do to Mon?" Kara demanded, not intimidating by him.

"I only set the stage. You pull your own strings," Lucifer said dismissively.

"Did you fuck my boyfriend?" Kara accused.

"Where do you get the nerve to ask me that?" Lucifer asked insulted.

"I'll ask you again. Did you or did you not fuck my boyfriend?" Kara demanded.

"It's a sick question. You're a sick fuck. I'm not going to answer it," Lucifer refused.

"God damn it, what did you do to my Mon?" Kara asked with her eyes white-hot.

"Well, on a scale of one to ten, one being the average Danvers household on a Friday night and ten being the most sexually depraved act known to man, I'd have to say, in all modesty, Mon and I got it on at...eleven," Lucifer mocked.

"Fuck you!" Kara shouted at him and then blasted him with heat vision. The beam went around Lucifer and blasted a huge hole destroying his mural. Instantly, the wall behind him was repaired, to before.

"Yeah! Step it up, girl! Yeah! Come on, that's good. You got a whole lot of that furry. Your hate has made you powerful," Lucifer smiled amused.

"So, you got some skill," Kara allowed.

"You got skills of your own, Kara. Never lost a case. Why? Because you're so fucking good?" he asked her rhetorically.

"That's right," Kara agreed

"Give credit where credit is due. I gave you a helping hand and why do you think? Kara, I want to be your sugar daddy," Lucifer said to her.

"Mon knew it, so you destroyed him to get him out of the way," Kara realized.

"You blaming me for Mon? I hope you're kidding. You could have saved him anytime you wanted but you were stuck in this archaic view that men don't need help, don't need assistance, don't need to be provided for. You put your career first. You put our little game of ours, first," Lucifer said knowingly.

"I don't have to take this. I'm going to leave," Kara said walking out.

"There's nothing out there for you, Kara. Don't be such a bitch. I told you to take care of your boy-toy," Lucifer told her.

"I know what you did. You set me up. It's entrapment. You set me up," Kara accused.

"What did I tell you on the subway? Maybe, it was your time to lose. You didn't think so," Lucifer brought up.

"Lose? I don't lose! I win. That's my job! That's what I do!" Kara shouted at him.

"I rest my case. Vanity is my favorite sin. It's so basic, self-love, the all-natural opiate. It's not that you didn't care for Mon. It's just that you were more in love with someone else, yourself," Lucifer said.

"You're right. I let him go," Kara said sorrowfully.

"Oh, don't be too hard on yourself, Kara. Mon was an asshole. We both know it's true. He kept you back, he shackled you. It's awesome what you have been able to become. I couldn't make it easy. Not for you nor your sister," Lucifer said revealing Alex.

Alex walked in wearing a red dress. Her eyes were a possessed red. "Well, adopted sister to be exact," Lucifer corrected himself.

"Kara, I've nurtured so many superheroes, so many disappointments. Mistake-after-mistake, like your boy scout cousin and then there's you, the two of you," Lucifer said.

"What do you want from me?" Kara asked finally.

"A threesome," Lucifer said bluntly.

"You fucking serious?" Kara asked incredulously.

"Guilt is like a bag of bricks. Just set it down," Lucifer advised.

"Hey, I know what you're going through. I've been there with Maggie, remember? Come here, just let it go," Alex said giving Kara a hug.

Kara distanced herself from Alex disturbed by what was being suggested. "I can't do that."

"Who you carrying those bricks for? God?" Lucifer asked. "Let me give you a little insider information on God. He's a prankster. He gives your sister instincts. Then, I swear, for his own fucking amusement, He sets the rules in opposition. Look at women but don't touch. Touch them...but don't taste. Her whole life, Alex was trying to be the good girl everyone wanted her to be. And while she was lonely and bitter, He's laughing his sick head off. Worship that? Never," Lucifer said to her.

"I care what Alex wanted and I never judged her for it. Why? Because I never rejected her. I'm a humanist. Maybe, the last humanist," Lucifer said.

"I'm not buying it, asshole. Everything fucked up in the last century was your doing. You inspired the assassination that caused War World I, you created Hitler, you orchestrated the Holocaust, you put the idea of the nuke into men's minds, and every time someone like Alex loses hope in themselves and decides to end it all, you're fucking there," Kara said angrily.

"Why did you come here, Kara? To talk shit? Isn't it, your grand plan to change things from the inside? You going to change me, Kara?" I think it's been the other way around," Lucifer mocked.

"I'm getting a drink," Alex said breaking the tension.

"So long as I have your sister on my side, you're fucked," Lucifer smiled wickedly.

"What do you want?" Kara asked.

"I want you to take over the firm. You and your sister," Lucifer said simply.

"Is that it?" Kara doubted.

"No, you're ovulating, right now. Your Kryptonian egg and my seed is the key to a new future. Your son is going to be sitting at the head of all tables," Lucifer revealed.

"The anti-Christ," Kara figured.

"Whatever," Lucifer rolled his eyes.

"But I have to volunteer," Kara smirked.

"Free will. It is a bitch," Lucifer agreed. "I'm ready to work. What do you say, Kara?"

"What are you offering?" Kara stalled.

"We negotiating?" Lucifer wondered.

"Always," Kara smirked.

"How about unlimited bliss," Lucifer offered.

"You'll have to do better than that," Kara said unimpressed.

"I'll take away that guilt. For example, that guilt you've had for the last fifteen years that you were responsible for Jeremiah's disappearance," Lucifer said to her.

Kara simply stared at him. Alex went over to her. "Forget about him. This is about us. You don't know how long I've been waiting for this moment," she said as she embraced Kara. Alex then started kissing Kara passionately.

"Kara, look at me. Just look at me," Alex said as she peeled her red dress off getting completely naked.

"How does this get you what you want?" Kara asked Lucifer as Alex positioned herself on the table ready for action.

"Seeing the two of you making out in front of me gets me insanely hard. But your sister is also insurance. If you don't go along with this, I'll put my seed in her. As she is now, she doesn't have a choice in the matter," Lucifer smiled.

"In a few minutes, you won't be thinking about Mon ever again. Come here, we're going to be together like never before. We're going to be sister wives," Alex said to Kara as she continued to kiss her.

"You're right. It's time. Free will. It is a bitch," Kara smiled. "Barney, now," Kara ordered.

Brainiac 5 suddenly decloaked from the corner of the room. "The fuck?" Lucifer wondered.

"Barney is from the future. He can send a message to his past self in the future to time travel before all this shit happens and warn me about you. You lose," Kara said to Lucifer.

"Message sent," Brainiac 5 said to her.

Kara, Alex, and Brainiac 5 instantly disappeared leaving Lucifer alone in his apartment. " **No! Kara, you bitch! Kara, no! Damn you!"** Lucifer shouted angrily and then burst into flames. His suit was incinerated in the flames, his angel wings appeared, and his face became younger looking oddly similar to Brainiac 5's own face. He stared ahead looking quite pissed and then screamed as he went straight back to the fiery depths of hell.

* * *

Kara splashed water on her face in the women's restroom back in Gotham. "And then you said, 'Free will, it is a bitch,'" Brainiac 5 concluded.

"That's a really interesting story, Barney, but we're both fucked if someone sees you in here," Kara scolded him.

"And I'm okay with that," Brainiac 5 said nonchalantly.

"Couldn't you have told me all that crazy shit before I became a lawyer. Now, I'm going to get disbarred," Kara said pissed-off.

"Beggars can't be choosers," Brainiac 5 smirked.

"I'm putting a lot of trust in you, Barney, that everything you just told me wasn't complete and total bullshit," Kara said giving him a hug.

"I appreciate your confidence," Brainiac 5 told her.

"Alright, time to fuck up my legal career before it even starts," Kara said as she stepped out.

* * *

In the courtroom, Kara eyed her client Bruce Wayne and then saw Mon alive and well in the pew. Kara came over to Mon and gave him a passionate kiss. "What are you doing?" he asked her.

"Mon, this thing we have going on is a two-way street. You got my back...and I have yours," she said to him. "We're a team."

"Well, okay then," Mon smiled.

"And we're both about to be unemployed and poor in just a moment," Kara smirked.

"Wait...what?" Mon asked incredulously.

The judge then came into the room and sat down. "You're still under oath, young man," the judge reminded Damien. "Your witness, Miss Danvers."

Kara eyed Bruce and then back at Damien. Sighing, she got up. "Your Honor, I can no longer represent my client. You see, he's an asshole and totally guilty," Kara said.

"Miss Danvers, this is outrageous. Are you aware of the consequences of this action?" the judge asked her.

"I would if I ever read a legal textbook," Kara smirked.

"I want to see both attorneys in my chambers, immediately," the judge ordered.

"Yeah, about that. I've assessed the situation and I'm leaving," Kara said walking off.

* * *

Kara and Mon were ambushed by reporters as they left the courtroom. "Kara, this is some serious shit. I need an exclusive with you," Nia said to her.

"There is no story," Kara said dismissively.

"Of course there is. A lawyer with a crisis of conscience? You could be disbarred. This must be a really tough decision for you," Nia said.

"Actually, it was super-easy, barely an inconvenience. You can quote me on that," Kara said to her.

"Kara, you are a star," Nia insisted.

"Come on," Mon nudged her.

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning," Kara agreed.

"You got it," Nia smiled overjoyed.

Kara and Mon then disappeared down the stairwell. Nia then morphed back to Brainiac 5. "Vanity, most definitely my favorite sin," he smiled.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: In the Adventures series, Brainiac 5 is the guardian angel/devil for Kara but in the end always has her back even if it takes an entire movie of ridiculousness to get there. So, Brainiac 5 being the Devil, in the end, is a reference to that Adventures dynamic in case there was any confusion. Additionally, while Kara is the Advocate for Lucifer, Lucifer is the Advocate of Brainiac 5, the true puppeteer of this story. 
> 
> If you found this entertaining and want more of the same, there are Adventures of Supergirl/Batwoman, Overgirl, and Midvale on my profile.


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